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Stephanie Ives

Remembering and Continuing to Believe

Updated: Nov 5

We returned from Pesach break yesterday and jumped right back into the annual "Jewish Memory Season." This is a term I learned from my husband Yehuda to describe the quick succession of holidays that overtake Jewish day schools every year when we move from remembering our slavery in Egypt on Pesach, to remembering the Holocaust on Yom HaShoah, to remembering our fallen soldiers and victims of terror on Yom HaZikaron, Israeli Memorial Day. These are not the easiest memories to share as adults, let alone children, even during "normal" times.


Observing Yom HaShoah with young children is delicate and requires a high level of intentionality and planning, all guided by an understanding of child development. When approaching the Shoah, we strive to convey the magnitude of the tragedy, a sense of personal connection to the suffering of our people, and a belief in the ability of individuals to save whole worlds. We do not use fear as a strategy to convey any of these messages. Instead, we do this by focusing on memory, remembering the stories of pre-war life in Europe and the individual people who perished and survived. 


On Yom HaZikaron, we honor the memory of those who died in Israeli wars and terrorist attacks. We approach with care as well, recognizing the service and sacrifice of soldiers who have been killed in battle to protect our homeland while also trying to avoid glorifying or simplifying war. We try to cultivate a connection to and appreciation of those who died in battle and acts of terror without inadvertently leading our children to believe that all their Israeli family members and friends are in imminent danger. 


Needless to say, these are not "normal" times, and balancing these educational goals is much more difficult today than it has been in my tenure as an educator. This year, Jewish suffering does not need to be taught in the context of history because the present is sufficiently terrifying. Antisemitism cannot be confused with a thing of the past. The basic physical safety of people who live in Israel is hard to take for granted. Our children have seen and heard much we wish they had not taken in. And they know that the children of Israel and Gaza continue to suffer in unimaginable ways. 


There is a part of me this year that wants to skip the sad memories and avoid our painful history. The pain and suffering exist now; we don't need to make it worse by looking back.


But we teach the history of our people for a reason, and that reason is no less resonant this year, even if the history itself is more triggering. An important reason to teach history is to help children contextualize themselves in a vast and ongoing story. Life existed before us and will continue after us. In the context of Jewish history, we also learn a lot about miracles and survival against all odds. We learn that courageous human beings have, time and time again, been able to reroute the future and achieve the impossible. To use a phrase from our Facing History and Ourselves eighth-grade curriculum, "People make choices, and choices make history." This is the case for the betterment of the world just as much as it is for the world's detriment. 


We hope that learning about and honoring Jewish history, including the saddest of periods, helps our children understand themselves as part of resilient and strong people who have the power to care for themselves and the power to care for the larger world we inhabit. We will be working hard to convey this over the coming weeks.


In the meantime, we send a virtual embrace to our whole community as we enter Jewish Memory Season. This year, on Yom HaShoah and Yom HaZikaron, when we remember both collective suffering and individual lives lost, it is essential to emphasize the countless acts of bravery and kindness that are part of this history. The courage and wisdom that has changed the course of history is also present today. We must remember, and we must continue to believe.

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